Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
