im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
