Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
