I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
