You really coming over, don't trick.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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