I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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