I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
