She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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