so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
