A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
