BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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