No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
