I think I just saw someone hide a body.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
