I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
