glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
