I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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