Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize