I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
