I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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