well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
