We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
