Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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