woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
