i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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