Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
try to milk me bitch
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