ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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