I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
