He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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