does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize