I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
