someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize