this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
