So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize