It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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