i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All I want is dick and wine.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
