They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
