Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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