i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
