You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
