another moral hangover. fuck.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
