My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
