i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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