My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
