No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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