This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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