take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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