I wish you could order shots online.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm like, not good at living.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
