The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
