No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
