My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
