There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
