I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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