he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Say something about gay babies.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
