I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
