yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Randomize
