what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
