On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
