Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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