i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
