i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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