I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize