Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
