I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
